Furloughs layoffs second layoffs meetings business arms financial investments millions low percentage growth surveys money theme inflation HR research investment raise performance evaluation quantity quality 90% of employees surveyed say X is a nice place to work.
[X][X][X]
X marks the spot where passive-aggressive pressures persist for performance when there’s no work to speak of. You’re in the emergency room waiting for this place to code. X marks the spot where they should run a sale on homes not a train on emotions. X marks the spot where suggestions for improvement pass through Black lips like apparitions through drywall. X marks the spot where they take your suggestion seriously, later, as their own and call it a great idea to service our customers. X marks the spot where you keep working. X marks the spot where you labor over CEO sentences and cadence on police violence against unarmed Black people because he’s tone-deaf. X marks the spot where you’re told to comment, but not to correct his sentences because the company doesn’t like to be corrected. X marks the spot where you need clarity on why you’re here; to sweep sentences or blur intent?
X marks the spot where you listen to explanations about why the company chose to recognize Veteran’s Day over Juneteenth. It’s Christmas. X marks the spot where you speak up about measurements and Black people. X marks the spot where the company is visibly angry about math. X marks the spot where you determine the sum total of white supremacy masquerades as “90% of employees surveyed say X is a nice place to work.”
X marks the spot where you’re asked if you’re a gossip in an internal interview led by a Black man.
X marks the spot where a woman of color hangs a poster to advocate for a pair of Nikes for you because you admitted to having never worn them one day in the office kitchen. X marks the spot where a manager asked about the poster and you laughed off your embarrassment, as you tend to do. X marks the spot where you take the poster down and collect the $20 deposited in the donation box of shame. X marks the spot where you are a clown surrounded by toddlers and cake and popped balloons.
X marks the spot where D.E.I. matters. X marks the spot where We’re all committed to inclusive spaces gets more tongue and lip than a blow job. X marks the spot where you wonder why you’re so blown. X marks the spot for mildewed macro violences.
X marks the spot where the manager interested in gossip approaches you in the lobby to interrupt your reading with small talk. X marks the spot where you respond Reality Hunger. X marks the spot where he drops his eyes at the sound of Mandarin. X marks the spot where he drops his head—lower. X marks the spot where he explains, head bowed, I’m just trying to make it, too. X marks the spot where you become an expense. X marks the spot where this rejection cracks the crust and scab of patriarchal abandonment within you. X marks the spot where you ooze an origami of inadequacy; au pair of cranes. X marks the spot where you shut down—no longer listening. X marks the spot where you disappear him. This is Black magic. X marks the spot where you intentionally return to your book. X marks the spot where it ends. X marks the spot where he walks away. X marks the spot where you think this nigga think he apologized. X marks the spot where you turn the page.
X marks the spot where you join professional Black women to discuss the trauma of racism in the public sphere, the company meeting prompted by the deaths of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd. X marks the spot where your inbox sirens in response:
You don’t have to respond to this but ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| ||||| |||
You’re such an inspiration ||||| ||||| ||||| |
You did a great job ||||| ||||
I’m in awe right now ||||
Way to Go ||||| ||||| |
Thank You |||
I have a lot to learn, but I’ll do better |
X marks the spot where 90% of employees surveyed say X is a nice place to work. X marks the spot where it could’ve been 91.
X marks the spot where employees gush over X like a boyfriend. X marks the spot where X is a boyfriend; a narcissistic one. X marks the spot where you know it’s over. X marks the spot where you stay for two more years. X marks the spot where you sometimes feel you’re too yourself to stay employed. X marks the spot where you contemplate escape. X marks the spot where an internal interview turns into laughter about your skills. X marks the spot where you want to laugh the alphabet that chases your father’s name, but instead you laugh off frustration into a dumpster of never ends. X marks the spot where you shift and go within.
X marks the spot where LGBTQ+ folks are asked to respect members who might support Trump when commenting in chat. X marks the spot where you leave the group. X marks the spot where white people approach you in the office to find out why you left. X marks the spot where you wonder if you’re free or property.
X marks the spot where a white woman lauded another white woman in a Black affinity group for Women’s History Month as the first in real estate. X marks the spot where said historical white woman succeeds in America during a time where Black women were seen as cattle. X marks the spot where you wonder if said historical white woman’s accomplishment is remarkable at all.
X marks the spot where you speak up. X marks the spot where you inquire about relevance and timing. X marks the spot where a Black woman, new and of authority somewhere, takes you through the original post like a plastic comb through a kitchen. X marks the spot where your sentiment stands in solidarity with your assertion. X marks the spot where you leave the Black affinity group.
X marks the spot where you are added back to the Black affinity group. X marks the spot where the Black affinity group becomes a location of joy and community. X marks the spot where you return to the Black affinity group daily to participate in discussion. X marks the spot where you return to the Black affinity group to read what you missed on your days off. X marks the spot where participation in the Black affinity group creates an illusion that things between you and X are working out.
X marks the spot where you think X is a boyfriend, the kind that tricks off his dollars in the club, takes you on trips, and tells you it’s not about ass. X marks the spot where X is a lot like a boyfriend, he tells lies, his decisions cost you money, he acts mysterious, he speaks in code, he virtue signals, he’s interested in one thing—he cares about you.
X marks the spot where you return to the office post-pandemic. X marks the spot where you retrieve items from your desk and speak in low tones with a former mentee, now promoted. X marks the spot where she’s glad to see you, too.
X marks the spot where the reunion is interrupted by whiteness. X marks the spot where he doesn’t excuse himself before brushing your faces in white. X marks the spot where one woman is erased because she’s sitting and you are targeted because you’re standing. X marks the spot where chats between Black women are invisible. X marks the spot where the light must always shine even when you are the source. X marks the spot where you unscrew your bulbs in exhaustion. Here. X marks the spot of investigation and surveillance, white male privileges.
Him: (unnecessary volume and pitch) Hey, How are you?
You: I’m thriving.
Him: (in disbelief) Thriving?!
You: (faint interest) Yes, it’s great. How are you?
Him: Good.
You: Good.
X marks the spot where you disappear him too. X marks the spot where you think these powers are getting stronger some kind of mutation in the lab of white supremacist systems. X marks the spot where a backfire is more than a malfunction. X marks the spot where you think to escape, so, you start to go.
X marks the spot where a white woman gives you an illegal hug. X marks the spot where you think escape, but the reckless embracer spins a web around the past. X marks the spot where she tells you she’s here in a sitcom voice. X marks the spot where you want to escape—not act.
X marks the spot where the meeting ends. X marks the spot where you take the aisle, then the hallway. X marks the spot where she sees you. X marks the spot where she utters something mixed with joy and disbelief at the sight of a back turn. X marks the spot where you think what’s one more scene? X marks the spot where the director shouts action!
X marks the spot where you catch up after not speaking for over a year while sharing the same boyfriend. X marks the spot where she says married. X marks the spot where you perform congratulations! X marks the spot where you lose two hours on Wilshire. X marks the spot where your spine mutates into a titanium rod. X marks the spot where
X marks the spot where claims of transparency fly kites with tails of anxiety and intimidation overhead. X marks the spot where your manager holds the thread of your faith in X, and cuts it.
Pancreatitis, circa 2018, two days after graduation round the time you started talking to X.
X marks the spot where you, laid up in county hospital, single and looking for stability, talked about the future. X marks the spot where you told X about your plans and X said he’d wait for you. X marks the spot where you fell in love. X marks the spot where you talked about him to your friends, family, and strangers in Café Anna. No X doesn’t have a brother, but we can share him put my name down when you apply. X marks the spot where X never calls. Four people ghosted. X marks the spot where you remember you’re a diamond in this rough. X marks the spot where X marks the spot where 90% of employees surveyed say X is a nice place to work.
For someone, somewhere, you suppose.
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